


Body Swap 101

by nikonic



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Body Swap, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 00:40:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6400666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikonic/pseuds/nikonic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coulson is a liar-liar, and his pants damn well better be on fire. </p><p>Also known as an inhuman with the power to trigger a body swap appears. Hilarity and insanity ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Swap

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AgentSkyeMorse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentSkyeMorse/gifts), [Panyan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panyan/gifts).



> This is complete and utter crack. Seriously. If you ever want to test your sanity, write a body swap and try and figure out which pronoun goes where in reference to which person. 
> 
> Other than the usual 'I own nothing' spiel, this fic was requested by AgentSkyeMorse and seconded by Panyan. Thus this crack-fluff-smut is entirely for them.

Infiltrate. Gather data. Keep a low profile. Get out. That was how this mission was originally described. Coulson even specified that there was no inhuman presence whatsoever. 

Liar. 

I'm looking at my body. Do you know where I'm not? In my body. Do you know who is? Bobbi. No inhumans, my ass. Coulson is a liar-liar, and his pants damn well better be on fire because this is fucking weird. 

My eyes are wide... Well Bobbi's eyes in my head are wide. The ground starts to shake, and this is so far from anything we've been trained for. "Hey. Deep breath. Bobbi, love, look at me." An earthquake is the opposite of low profile. Icing my partner and dragging her out of here in someone else's body... That's also not particularly low profile. "Jeez you are ridiculously tall."

"That's not helping, Daisy," she growls. "We need to get out of here. Now before I completely lose my shit. Seriously what the fuck was that? I'm going to kill Coulson. Does he have a dictionary? Does he know what the word 'simple' means? Because this... This is very, very complicated." She rants as we run through the halls, backtracking to our evac point. On a side note I realize how much faster I can run with her lengthy legs covering the distance.

With the QuinJet on autopilot, I do my best to keep Bobbi's nerves stable lest we find out the damage she can cause with my powers. "Greetings, ladies. Right within the time table," Simmons cheers. "All went well I presume." I'm partially excited to tell the genius bio-chemist that she's wrong because all is not well in the least. "Did you find all the research? Fitz and I have been discussing how that particular weapon could project a force field so large from a device so small. I'm rather excited to get my hands on the documentation."

"We may have something of a bit more pressing priority," I groan, watching Bobbi pace frantically in my body. "We ran into an inhuman with an odd power." Bobbi mutters something that sounds like Russian; I don't need to understand the language to know it's likely all very vulgar. "We... Umm... Well... Fuck. We body swapped, I think. I mean I'm in her body and she's in mine."

"Intriguing. Are either of you harmed in any way?" 

With a glance at my partner to confirm, I respond. "No, no injuries. And as much as I love Bobbi's body... And trust me, I love her body...I'd really rather appreciate it from my own." I can practically hear Jemma blushing through the call. 

Bobbi drops into the jump seat next to me, flipping random switches and tapping altitude gauges. "I'm also going to need something that shuts down Daisy's powers while I'm in her body. I don't quite have a handle on her zen-like control." It's so strange hearing her words and diction come out in my voice. On a side note, is that really what I sound like? Yikes. Jemma signs off with a promise to have something ready as quickly as possible. Bobbi exhales slowly.

What do you say to the woman with whom you're in love when you're inhabiting her body? "So...," I manage. Great. So eloquent. Good conversation starter. "Maybe it'll just wear off? Like that Medusa guy? The effects of his power just evaporated over a short period of time. And if that's the case, we really should embrace the opportunity to..."

Bobbi barks out a laugh. "Really, Daisy? Body swapped in the most cliched sci-fi sense and you're thinking about sex?" A hand scrubs over her (temporary) face. "As much as I enjoy the way you think, I'm not doing a damn thing until I know I can't make the earth move. So you keep my butt over there and don't get it too excited about anything in particular." 

She has a valid point. My powers are no joking matter. But I'm not nearly as much of an adult as she is. That's been made abundantly clear over and over again. I wiggle the zipper of the suit down just enough to get a look at the cleavage with which I am so familiar from a different angle. "How do you not lay in bed and play with yourself all day? Seriously. Your tits are the best." 

"Stop getting my body naked in the QuinJet," Bobbi deadpans in my voice. "Dear God... And that's not even the first time I've had to say that to you. Keep your hands to yourself," she chides with a playful hint attached to her words.

"They are my hands! Or your hands! Whatever. I'm keeping your hands to yourself. You just pilot the plane and don't worry about me. I'll take good care of your body." That phrasing makes me crack up. "I mean normally I'd say that trying to be all smooth and sexy in bed, but now I mean I will physically take good care of your body. And no way I say that is going to sound any less absurd, but you know what I mean. But also... I intend to take good care of your body while I'm in it," I say, waggling my eyebrows for effect. "I wonder if your body orgasming feels differently than my body orgasming." 

"And these are the important questions, ladies and gentlemen. It's scientifically irrelevant whether or not we get back to our original bodies." 

"You can't tell me you aren't curious. Come on, Bobbi! How often does something like this happen?" A glare from her causes me to rephrase. "Okay this kind of shit happens all the time when I'm involved... Anyway... I have a hard time believing that you in all of your kinky-ness with the sex drive of a freaking bunny isn't thinking horribly dirty thoughts right now... Or maybe that's why I'm so damn horny. Did you take your sexual appetite with you when we swapped? Or am I in your body with your constant need for sex? Because that would explain some things." 

"Clearly I'm the leading expert in body swapping." I think her usual sass is somehow more caustic coming from my mouth. "Let's just get to base in one piece. Then after Jemma makes my overwhelming desire to manipulate vibrations cease, we can entertain... other ideas. Until then, stop touching my body because it's really distracting, and I can't even begin to process all of this."

Like a scolded child, I slump in the co-pilot's seat and wait impatiently. Trust me when I say I'm definitely plotting scenarios for our immediate future. This plane simply cannot fly fast enough.


	2. How to Undo a Swap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised a smutty chapter, and a promise is a promise. 
> 
> Do enjoy!

Coulson stares at me and then stares at Bobbi. Repeat ad infinitum. “So you’re… Hmm… Okay… Which makes you… Well what good is that power? Vibrations, I get. Electricity, totally understand. Morphing into a psychopathic rage monster, sure. Body swapping though? What benefit does that actually have?” His prosthetic clicks with each lock and unlock of his nervous behavior. “I assume you’re running tests,” the Director states, addressing Fitz and Simmons. “Where are we with turning them back?” 

“There’s the soliton hypothesis…” 

“Perhaps modifying the dendrotoxin…”

“Creel’s blood might act as…”

“Electrical discharge could be…”

Interrupting the scientific stammers of our resident British (and Scottish) scientists, Coulson shakes his head. “Time. Let’s try again. Any idea how to change them back?” 

“Hell if I know,” Simmons sighs, eyes flitting to her notepad. 

“Uh, no, no clue,” Fitz manages before turning back to his research. 

“Fantastic,” Coulson deadpans. “Okay then. Until Daisy’s Daisy and Bobbi’s Bobbi, you’re both on desk duty. Daisy…” He looks at my body, of which Bobbi is in possession. She simply points to me. “Right. Daisy. Desk duty,” he repeats as if I somehow didn’t understand the phrase the first time. “No caterpillars. No training. No gym. Desk duty. And Morse, no fighty sticks. Your body knows how to use them, but Sk-Daisy’s doesn’t. You’re more likely to electrocute her… Or you… Goodness gracious. Enough of this. Fitzsimmons will figure something out.” As he walks away, he murmurs, “Hopefully,” under his breath like we can’t hear it. 

“As fun as this is watching you both geek out over inhuman science, I don’t want to be here,” I insist, grabbing Bobbi’s hand and dragging her from the lab. When we’re (probably) out of earshot of the science babies, I offer her a shit-eating grin to which her response is a solid eye roll. “What? You said. Simmons got you all fixed up with whatever Harry Potter potion that was, and you said yourself that the vibrations are under control, which means…” 

Do you know how hard it is to wiggle your ass seductively while walking in a body that’s not your own? Let me tell you. On a normal day, walking is plenty challenging for me, and my version of sexy is more awkward than anything else. Top that all off with a body I’m wholly unfamiliar with from this angle, and it’s a recipe for disaster. That’s exactly how I end up on my butt in the middle of the hall while Bobbi cackles at my exuberance. 

“Bob? Love, what are you doing on the floor?” Hunter rushes over like the mother hen that he is from God-only-knows-where. Except Bobbi actually responds, and she’s standing next to him. His confusion and then utter terror are remarkably entertaining. “Bobbi? But if you’re Bobbi, who’s… Oh. Well that’s bloody confusing. So you’re off to knock boots, I suppose.”

Bobbi smacks him across the back of the head. I will say it’s quite satisfying watching my body take part in such violence. “Jesus! C’mon, love. Ease up on the corporal punishment. I’m just saying… And before you decide to thwack me again, I’m going to run away like a good little boy.” He winks at me before all but skipping down the hall. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he shouts. She scoffs at his statement and shoves me towards my bunk all the same. 

I’m already stripping Bobbi’s body down to nothing before the door even closes behind us. “Someone’s excited,” Bobbi teases. She’s taking her sweet fucking time. One gauntlet at a time. Then the boots and the belt. By the time she gets to the zipper at her chest, I’m already completely naked in Bobbi’s birthday suit. Trust me. I’ll trade her cat suit for her birthday suit any day of the week. 

Then we’re finally standing there, and the absurdity of the situation dawns on us yet again. I’m staring at my body without a mirror and from a different angle for the first time. “Seriously. You are absurdly tall.” My fingers twine through the shorn brunette locks, tilting her head as I please. Our bare skin presses together, and this is a familiar feeling amongst all the abnormality. 

Bobbi steps back slightly, her hand brushing her lips. “Does your stomach always flip when I kiss you?” A furious blush fills my cheeks, and on my temporarily pale skin, I’m sure it’s quite noticeable. She smiles kindly, love swirling in the hazel eyes looking back at me. Then my back is against the wall; I’m not entirely sure how I got here, but I’m sure as shit not complaining. 

Passion and desire burn between us, and I can barely catch my breath. Each touch is a new sensation. I’m so used to my body responding a certain way. In her body though, everything feels different, and she takes her time exploring and watching my reactions. “This is so fucking weird,” she mumbles before latching onto my pulse point. It takes her a long second to realize that’s a hot spot on my body, the body I’m not in, and she adjusts her kisses to the spot below my ear…And oh holy hell, that’s what that feels like for her. “But fuck it’s hot.” 

“I tried to fuck you on the QuinJet, but no,” I mock. “You had to be an adult- responsibilities and all that bullshit.” Pale fingers grasp at tanned hips, pulling us impossibly closer. It’s a sight with which I’m familiar, but it feels so different. With a quick shift of my weight, I pin her to the bed with a victorious smile. Staring down, I’m looking at my own flushed face, brown curls fanned across the mattress, while long blonde locks drape around us. 

Sure my neck has some tender spots, but my breasts are beyond sensitive, especially right now at this level of arousal. Setting teeth lightly against the swell of a breast, she gasps accordingly, arching up for more. I pepper the area with love bites and licks, absolutely loving her reactions in my pitch. 

It only takes a split second. I meant to adjust my weight between my knees, and she has me on my back, straddling my stomach with a smug smirk. “Why do you get to have all the fun?” Exploratory fingers drag up my arms, across my collarbone, down through the valley of my breasts. 

“I’m pretty sure that was fun for both of us, thank you very much. Anyway, you didn’t even want to participate in this an hour and a half ago,” I challenge, though it morphs into a moan when her tongue traces the curve of my rib cage. A flattened palm skates over an arousal-peaked nipple, and the body I’m in jolts at the contact. “Oh shit. Do that again.” When that sensation is too strong, I offer a request. “Show me what else you like.” Three fingers pierce my heat without any sort of warning. “Fuck, Bobbi!”

She kisses the corner of my mouth, pumping her curled digits teasingly slow. “You know exactly what I like. You give me everything I need, everything I want.” Long legs wrap around a tanned waist. Her whispers in my ear are salacious, and it’s setting me on fire. She may be playing her own body’s buttons, but she knows how to get my mind to zero in on the pleasure as well. “You make me lose control. You make me desperate. With or without powers, in this body or any other, you milk every last drop of pleasure available.” 

My high-pitched, unintelligible sound cuts off her proclamations of a well-satisfied sex life. A familiar tension tightens in my belly, and for some reason, I find myself tugging her hand away. “Stop. Stop. Stop.” Immediately Bobbi pulls her fingers free, her forehead resting against mine for a long second while I breathe. “Together.” Relief washes over her temporary features momentarily before she kisses me soundly, replacing her fingers at my entrance. 

Her arousal covers the inside of her thighs, and it makes my head swim. Seriously there will be no better spank bank material ever than this moment. Maybe if I cloned Bobbi. Then I could have two of her and one of me, and wouldn’t that be the best fucking threesome that ever existed? And I need to figure out how to make that a thing. The heat at my fingers drags me back to this reality, which is equally as enticing.

The beauty of her being in my body is that I have years of experience giving my body pleasure. She’s already so turned on that it won’t take long to get her to the precipice of the abyss. My thumb on her clit earns the appropriate reaction, as Bobbi bucks against my hand. The fingers inside of me stutter over the rhythm created. Then it’s a blur of frantic movements and loud moans. It doesn’t matter who’s body is whose, just that we’re both together in this moment, and fuck it all feels good. 

Teeth sink into that spot just below my ear, and everything snaps loose in a white wash of pleasure. Her body stiffens above me moments later, muscles trembling against my hips, before her weight slouches onto me. 

It’s a long moment, a really long moment, before either one of us is coherent enough to make use of the English language. “Holy fuck,” I groan, rolling off of her and onto the bed. 

Wait…

I was definitely on the bottom. How did I… 

“Seriously? Body swap reverted with sex. Is this real life? What in the hell kind of power is that? What does that balance out in the world? What if he had body swapped Coulson and Fitz? Would they have to… Oh god. Oh that’s a bad mental image. Oh god, Bobbi. Make it stop. Fuck, my eyes are burning.” Bobbi chuckles at my misery. It sounds like her laugh in her tone, and God that’s a nice sound. “You’re you, right? I’m me, and you’re you, and everything is back to normal?” 

“It seems that way,” Bobbi observes. 

“We should probably tell FitzSimmons, so they can stop looking for a cure.” 

The blonde shrugs and rolls over in a fluid motion, straddling my hips. “Probably, but they can wait. Right now I’ve got some other ideas.” I told you. Sex drive of damn bunny. 

Not that I’m complaining. Nope. Not complaining at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments section is just below!

**Author's Note:**

> FEAR NOT. 
> 
> There is a smutty chapter coming. (Ha. Sex joke.) I'm working on it right now. If you want to see something specific in said sex installment, leave a comment and let me know. If you want to see something in another story, leave a comment and let me know. If you loved it, hated it, whatever, leave a comment and let me know. If you want anything at all that I could create with words, leave a comment and let me know. 
> 
> I think you get the jist.


End file.
